Here's a nice bit of hooey for you:

Elizabeth S --
A very special Taurean


Elizabeth S-- is deeply sensual. Her senses of touch, smell and sight are highly refined. And as for her taste? It's impeccable. Elizabeth is extremely discriminating - when she sees the best, she won't ever settle for anything less. She would rather 'go without' than go for a poor substitute. But then that's Elizabeth all over. It really isn't fair to call her 'stubborn as a mule.' Mules are adaptable, easy going creatures who are always eager to please - or at least, they are by comparison to Elizabeth S--. Unfortunately, for a person with such expensive preferences Elizabeth is not a millionaire ...or at least, not yet. You never know, it may just happen because Elizabeth's relationship with money is very interesting. She treats it with a curious mixture of disdain and respect. She never lets it stand in her way, yet she will go out of her way to get it when she needs to. Elizabeth is a smart cookie and a shrewd operator. It is not though, merely in the field of finance that Elizabeth S-- displays intuitive wisdom.
Elizabeth has an affinity with nature. She can make almost any plant flower and bear fruit. This is just as well because Elizabeth has a hearty appetite. She likes her food as indeed she likes all her creature comforts. Fond though she is of all the above - and of all life's little luxuries - there is one more source of endless fascination that Elizabeth cannot resist. Elizabeth doesn't so much have a hearty appetite for sensual pleasure as a ravenous hunger for it! Which is funny really because you wouldn't necessarily think it to look at her. Elizabeth likes to play it cool. Elizabeth likes to pretend that nothing bothers her, fazes her or excites her. Like all Taureans though, Elizabeth S-- is a powerhouse of passion, as those who are lucky enough to know her - or to love her - will breathlessly testify.

Thanks to Jonathan Kainer's Zodiac Forecasts. I didn't know I was so passionate - you learn something new every day!